Geneen Roth on how we need to identify, and separate from, “the voice” — the inner critic, the superego, our parents’ voice, the one that tells us we’re no good and can’t ever trust ourselves.
When you stop believing The Voice, when you know it isn’t you, when you talk back to it (The Voice says, You are selfish and shallow, with a dry, withered heart and an elephant-skin-neck and you say, Uh-huh, right, so what else is new? or Honey, sounds like you need a couple dozen margaritas) — you are free. You have access to yourself and every thing The Voice pretends to offer, but doesn’t: clarity, intelligence, strength, joy, compassion, curiosity, love. When you stop responding to the continual comments on your thighs, your value, your very existence, then you can ask yourself if you are comfortable at this weight; if you feel healthy, energetic, awake. And if the answer is no, you can ask yourself what you could do about it that would fit into your day-to-day life. What you can live with, what you can maintain. What feels good, what stirs your heart. And you can give that answer in your own voice.